Ode to Alberta

     I will miss your wide open skies and your amazing sunsets that I could view from my bedroom.

    I will miss your spectacular full moon. The biggest I have ever seen

I will miss your stimulating storms, ferocious winds, exhilarating thunder and lightning,
and even your terrifying but fascinating hail.

Returning from a very scary run in which I was pelted
with hail, as the thunder shook around me.
 

Rain and thunder on a run

                                             And the rainbows that come after the storms

 

I will miss the beautiful Bow River and all the parks and pathways along it, particularly Bowmont and Bowness. 

I have loved running here more then any other place I have lived. It is more hilly than any other place I have lived. I couldn't go on a run anywhere without running up at least one steep hill. The pathway system is fantastic and it's been so nice to run along the river and through the parks rather than always in neighborhoods. I have caught some of my best views and taken many pictures on my runs and gained some good leg muscle along the way.

Running through Bowmont park

I have too many pictures and not enough time to add them all. I will miss Christmas at Heritage park, iceskating outdoors on frozen ponds, and nighttime tobogganing with Christmas music in the background and the hill all lit up with lights.

Drumheller, Big Hill Spring, Elbow Falls, Johnston Canyon, Fish Creek Park, Banff, Johnsons Lake in Banff, and Lake Louise. If you live here and haven't visited some of these places make sure you do. My favorites are Drumheller and Johntson Canyon.

I love prairie drives, where all you see is canola and wheat fields and wild skies in the distance.

And the zoo. Oh, how I have loved the zoo. I cried the first time I saw the elephants there. I'm kind of a big baby like that. Those sweet tiger cubs there, and the bear at the fence, and the butterflies that land on your hands and head.

I will miss my gym. I loved the Tabata, and bootcamp, and kickboxing classes, and the great ladies that taught there.

I will miss my school here. To have great discussions with like minded people who share a passion for health and nutrition. Sometimes I think if we had never moved here I may have never started school again. In the short month and a half I've been there, my confidence has grown as has my passion. Getting educated makes me feel so happy and complete. I can't wait until I finish school and can do something that helps others.

My kids have also loved it here. They have made great friends that they are sad to leave. We love our family here and will miss them dearly. We have made some good friends here and learned that even if you have little in common with people you can still laugh together. 

So good bye beautiful Alberta. You were so much more then I ever imagined you to be. I am so grateful we have had this experience living here, as short as it was. We took every opportunity to explore and immerse and to fall in love. 

I have to write about my run this evening before the thrill of it fades. I took a heap of pictures as well and I think they will help with my story.

I tried to go for a run two days ago even though I wasn't feeling it. There are many days when I am not feeling it and I have to push myself out the door. It was one of those days, and by the time I had my knee taped up, my ipod charged, water bottles filled, heart rate monitor on, I literally stepped out the door and it started to pour. I was relieved. Today is a scheduled run day, and it's been beautiful all day, although thunder and lightening were in the forecast. Chris got home from work early and I threw my gear on, as I could see the sky starting to darken. If I could get running and be warmed up before the rain started, then it wouldn't be so bad.

I headed out the door, and got almost 2km before the rain stared to patter around me, but the drops were spread out and not very threatening. I could still see patches of blue sky and the dark clouds and heavy rain I could see falling in the distance, seemed far enough away that I didn't worry. It was quite a beautiful sky actually. I ran down Nosehill towards the bridge leading to Bowness park. Crossed the road and followed the path down and under the bridge. This is a beautiful path that runs along the river, and it is always populated by runners, cyclists, and dog walkers. The rain was picking up, and I could hear the distant thunder. It went well with my music, but I still felt good, and had warmed up enough that the rain didn't bother me. I ran over this little bridge alongside the train bridge and was amazed to see the water levels so high in what would otherwise be considered a stream.

This was the sky to my left

And this was my view to the right

Anyways, I continued on my path and crossed over a larger pedestrian trail, then followed a smaller trail into the woods where I hoped to hide from the rain. Normally I don't run through the woods by myself in the evening, but it was a relatively short trail, and I imagined jumping in the river if a bad guy or wild animal decided to attack me.

The start of the trail, blurry from the rain

ran around a fence and across these cement blocks
beside the rising river

the water levels are so high, the trail is blocked

I push the bushes aside and step carefully around the edge of the water. I think it is starting to hail, but it's not awful. I can still hear distant thunder, but I'm not worried yet, sure I can continue on my planned route. I figure this is good training for the Spartan run I hope to do in August. I come out of the woods and the rain and hail mixture picks up. I follow the path under a road bridge and briefly pause to take another picture.

The path leads around to Bowness park and I follow it up to the road. The hail is picking up and the thunder is getting closer. I decide to cut my run short and head up the steep hill home, which is still 2km away. The hail gets heavier with each step I take and I am trying to pick up my pace. I must look ridiculous to all the drivers. I don't even have a hat to protect my face. By now I am being pelted with marble sized hail, and it is coming down unbelievably heavy. I have to keep my head down, and water is pouring down my face. I can feel my feet sloshing in the puddle that has gathered in my shoes. I see my first flash of lightening and pick up my pace on the hill. The thunder is constant, and I am not having fun anymore. I want to call Chris but I can't stop to call him because the hail is coming down so heavy. There is a heavy stream running alongside the sidewalk even on the steep hill. I am drenched beyond words, and my sunburned back is stinging with each pelt of hail. They smack me in the face and hit me in the head, and there is nothing I can do about it. Imagine little pebbles pummeling down on you. That is what it was like. Then there is is this loud clap of thunder right above me and a huge flash of lightening. It startles and terrifies me. This is where I turn into a big baby. I start to whimper and I say "help" to nobody, wishing that Christopher would come find me. All I can think about is being struck by lightening, even though I know it is completely unrealistic. There is nowhere to hide and I am frightened. I decide to turn down the first street on my route and hide under a slight overhang on someone's house while I attempt to call Christopher to come rescue me, but he's not answering. Thankfully two kind men that are sitting in their car waiting for the storm to pass offer me a ride. I hop in their clean, dry, good smelling car and apologize profusely for getting it so wet inside. I must look like a drowned rat. They hand me tissue and I wipe my face and nose. We sit there for at least another five minutes waiting for the storm to calm down. I text Chris that I am okay and have been picked up.

view out the car window

The men drive me the short distance home. Maybe 1km, as the hail slows and the clouds part. The sun comes out and a rainbow is in the sky. Rainbows are a common sight here. The road and sidewalks are heaped in hail and I later hear that the flat areas of our community have flooded. Crazy, considering the worst part of the storm was probably only 20 minutes. The men drop me off, and I thank them and apologize for soaking their car about 100 times. I am so grateful for these good samaritans. I enter my house to Leif crying inconsolably, and the girls all over me. They tell me that Chris has gone out looking for me, so I text him that I am safe at home. Yay!

The hail by my gutter, post storm

post storm, smaller, and partially melted hail

This is definitely my craziest running experience ever. When I was all dried, and had peeled my wet clothes off, I noticed red marks all over my legs and arms. I don't think there'll be any bruises though. The weather here is unpredictable and erratic. By 9pm the sky was clear and there was another beautiful sunset. You would never know there had been a storm if not for the flooded roads.

happy to be home, and unbelievably drier then I was 10 minutes prior

Heavenly Laundry Soap

I just made my own laundry soap (something I've been meaning to do for months), and it was so easy. Seriously took less then 20 minutes, and it smells like heaven. Hopefully it cleans like heaven as well, but I have to let it set for 12 hours before I try it out.

 If you or someone you do laundry for has sensitive skin, this is totally worth trying, or if you like to save money, this works out to less then .5 cents a load. Following is the ingredients and instructions

You will need 1 cup of Borax and 1 cup of Arm & Hammer washing soda. Both found in laundry isle at Walmart or Superstore. You will also need a bar of sunlight soap or something called Fels-Naptha, also found in detergent isle. I didn't have either of these bar soaps so decided to do something crazy and use a bar of all natural lavender soap somebody gave me a while ago. I'm sure it will work fine. You will need the biggest pot you have or two pots. Enough to hold 2 gallons of water, and a bucket that can hold up to 5 gallons. A mop bucket works well.

1- Heat 2 gallons of water on the stove. At the same time grate your bar of soap with a cheese grater, then add it to the water.

2- Stir until the soap curls dissolve, then add one cup of Borax, and one cup of washing soda. You can also add a bit of essential oil if you want a nice smell. I added a few drops of lavender oil to go with my lavender soap.

3- Fill your big bucket with one gallon of room temp water. Then add your soapy stove mixture to the bucket and stir.

4- I added a few squirts of lavender scented castile soap to my mixture but it's not necessary.

5- Cover your bucket and let it sit for 12 hours. It will thicken to a gel like consistency. Voila! You are done. Use .5 cup per load and make many loads.

I have actually been saving my empty laundry soap bottles and poured my mixture into them before letting it sit for 12 hrs. Made more then 10 liters. That should last us awhile.

Happy washing!

I was asleep way too late, and I am awake way to early. I can't clean or pack because that would wake the house, so I will write about what is preventing me from sleep.

 I am feeling what is probably, unnecessary stress about this trip back to B.C. I fear we are unwanted and unwelcome, that all the rooms at my parents house will be full and there will be no place for us to sleep. I worry that family and friends will be too busy and disinterested to see us. What if we hate the miserable weather and don't feel home there. What if we don't want to move back. I want my parents to be happy to have us. I don't want to burden them, or cause them stress at our being there. I feel I have few years left with them and I want to build positive memories for my children and myself. I don't want to be forgotten so soon.

If we move back then I can help care for them in the upcoming years. I can clean for them, and cook, and do the things that are becoming physically hard for them. I fear that they might not want my help though. What if positive memories are forgotten and the negative moments of my youth and early adulthood are hung on to? Isn't that often how it is? The really good times are not as clear in our memories as all the difficult or unpleasant memories. I'm really not trying to be a cynic. Isn't it ridiculous that at my age and this point in my life I should be concerned about how my parents feel for me. It must be middle child syndrome. I know they love me, I just don't know if they want me living near them. There is more on this subject I wish I could say, but I really shouldn't.

The Good, The Bad and The Gluten

I've been trying to cut gluten out of my diet. I haven't been very successful with this, but I am getting better. It is definitely a gradual process. If only it didn't taste so good. I decided to look up some facts on gluten to encourage me in my quest for clean eating. Here are some things I have found:

 Gluten comes from the Latin word glue, and it is these adhesive properties that allow for bread and cakes to hold together. It is also those same properties that cause gluten to interfere with the breakdown and absorption of nutrients. Not just from the bread products we are eating with our meal, but from the whole meal.

 Wheat, even whole wheat products contain starches that spike blood sugar rapidly, and can promote diabetes as well as causing people to age faster. Gluten proteins are extremely hard to digest, and because of this the immune system triggers an attack on the small intestine. There is a long list of symptoms associated with this sensitivity and you would be surprised at some of the things on this list:

- the obvious bloating, pain, gas, constipation, or diarrhea
- aching joints
- eczema
- headaches
- fatigue
- infertility, irregular menstrual cycle, and miscarriage
- cramps, tingling and numbness
- skin rash
- depression
- reflux
- endometriosis
- weight problems

I bet the majority of people experience at least some of these problems. It is hard to eliminate gluten completely as it is in so many of our foods, including soy sauce and salad dressing and beer.

 I think we can assume that there were always these sensitivities to wheat. Our modern wheat has been genetically engineered and is not the same wheat used by people hundreds of years ago, and is a implication as a major cause in obesity. Not a huge surprise there.

 Our wheat today has more proteins that cause celiac-associated problems for people, even those who don't have celiac disease. I read that up to 40% of the population has genes that pre-dispose them to gluten sensitivity. This is my whole family I am sure.

 Another very interesting thing about wheat is that it breaks down into polypeptides that can cross the blood brain barrier and act like opiates in the brain, causing some people to have a wheat addiction. Crazy, I know but it makes sense. Even in normal people, wheat promotes an increase in gut permeability. Don't know exactly what that means, but it is bad.

 Here's something else that may make a lot of sense to people, especially those who have issues with milk sensitivity. Also common in my family. There is a possible reactivity between gluten and proteins in milk. Meaning that many gluten sensitive people would also be better off avoiding dairy. This is true in my case and my Lilli's.

 Gluten is in more then just wheat. It's in barley, rye, spelt, msg, maltodextrin, beer, hydrolyzed vegetable protein and a slew of other grains. I have read that it is a mistake to dive into the gluten free products that we find on the grocery store shelves. most contain tapioca, corn, white rice and potato starch. All of these things also spike blood sugar and contribute to obesity.

So you are thinking, what can I eat then. Eat less carbs, and use sweet potatoes, beets, carrots, turnips, quinoa, beans, and brown rice. There is also millet, amaranth, buckwheat and other grains I have never heard of.

 I don't think a person needs to be completely strict with this unless they have celiac disease, but if you want to make some small, simple changes in your diet, cut back gradually and cut out the major culprits. Stop eating bread, and pasta. Chris and I have cut wheat flour out of our diets vastly. We do eat pasta once a month maybe, and on occasion eat homemade bread, but we always feel bloated and awful after. If you were to see me after a big bowl of pasta you would think I was five months pregnant. It is amazing how much better and less gassy you will feel if you cut wheat out even for just one week. There are many different types of quinoa you can eat, and I use the same recipes with quinoa  I would for pasta and rice, even lasagna. There is a great variety of brown rice out there as well. I get an awesome wild rice mix from Costco, although it does contain barley so isn't completely gluten free.

 I have a couple recipes I have adapted to make gluten free, and they are really good and used a lot in our home. The first is for a thin crust pizza:

1.5 cups warm water, divided
1 tbls active dry yeast, although i'm not sure how necessary this is in a gluten free version
1 tsp maple syrup
2 cups oat flour. I buy my own oats and grind them in a coffee grinder. Not quick oats
1 cup buckwheat flour. I also grind my own but you can get at a health food store.
3/4 tsp of coarse salt
2tsp olive oil

1. put 1/2 cup of warm water in a glass measuring cup, add yeast and maple syrup; sit until foamy
2. Mix flours and salt until combined. Pour in yeast mixture, rest of water and oil, and mix well
3. transfer dough to floured surface and let rise for 20 minutes. It will be more sticky then regular dough which has gluten to make it elastic.
4. divide in half and flatten out onto lightly floured pans. Should make two pizza crusts. i have to admit I've used a couple tbls of rye flour to help it stck together. It is definitely more of a challenge stretching it out then regular bread dough, but be patient, it will work.

Now you can add the toppings of your choice and bake at 450 for 20 minutes or less. maybe start with a lower oven temp first, and keep your eye on it. Since we're already being healthy might as well go easy on the cheese and not undo all your hard work.

I have to go to my Tabata class now so I will save the other recipe for later.

Ever since we first moved here and I discovered the pathways that run along the river towards the city I have dreamed of running from my house to the city. I thought it was a 16km run and would obviously have to train up to it. I also had to wait for the weather to warm up. The weather has been mildish the last few months, and I've been running longer distances for awhile now, but I tend to get a pain in my left knee that starts around km 5 or 6, and just gets worse the longer the distance I run. When it gets really bad the pain shoots up and down my leg and I stop running for a few moments, try to stretch it out or rub around it, then continue on.  I limp run a bit, and just keep going but obviously my pace is affected. I keep telling myself that I should take a couple of weeks off of running, but my knee never bothers me any other time. After a long, painful run it usually takes a day for it to feel normal again, but it does, and with each run I hope things will have improved. I bought new shoes, hoping that would make a difference, but it hasn't. I assume this minor injury was caused by all the long and steep up and down hills. It is impossible to run anywhere here without running hills. These hills are way longer then any hills I ever ran in B.C and they are everywhere. A typical hill could easily be between 1 and 2km, and going down them is so hard on my knee. So that's where I think this started from. I am stressed about this as I am in the process of training for a half marathon at the end of June which will hopefully lead to a full marathon in October. The last three years as I have trained for half marathons I have developed minor injuries that hinder my progress. I have no idea how people manage to run really long distances without sustaining training injuries. How will I ever train up to a full marathon.

 Anyways, I decided to take advantage of it being a holiday today and Chris being home from work. I didn't run on Saturday as I usually do my long run then, and last week stuck to short runs on the treadmill and to and from the gym. Ideally I try to get 30km a week in, but that didn't happen as I gave myself a two day running break. Obviously not long enough.

The weather was perfect. Overcast, a slight breeze and a little muggy. I headed down from Bowmont park, with some new to me music, that helped set the perfect atmosphere. Andrew, my brother introduced me to this band called Of Monsters and Men I think, and they are amazing! Remind me a lot of Arcade Fire, so if you like the one you will the other. Anyhow, good music is always nice to have on a long run. The path was beautiful. New grass, wild flowers, Aspen trees that have finally grown leaves, and pretty little birds everywhere. I love birds. And of coarse there was the river I was following. It was perfect. Finally spring has come to Calgary.

My run would have been the perfect run to the city that I had fantasized about doing since I moved here if it hadn't been for my stinking knee. I had taken a tylenol, and rubbed Voltaren all over my knee and surrounding leg, before I headed out. It started to throb just before 6km as I thought it would and just continued on from there. I reached the 9th street bridge that leads into the city and to my train home and I was only at 11.5km. I know I could have headed up to the train and gone home at that point as my knee was throbbing and I was running like Terry Fox. No insult intended. I have a huge crush on the man, and I'm sure he ran in way more pain then I've ever been in. That's kind of what pushed me to keep going. I had planned to run at least 15km, so I turned the opposite direction from the train, and continued along the river path into the city. I had popped an ibuprofen several km back and was waiting for it to kick in, but it never did. I ran to 13km, then turned and headed back tup to the train, limping the whole way. I got there just barely short of 15km.

Now for some personalities in pictures:

Miete made a movie called Thom the Zombie and the Missing Foot.

Miete wants to be an imaginationist when she grows up. It's a job she invented in which she teaches people how to use their imaginations. She's written a page of details on this job. I think it's a perfect fit for her.

Imaginations at work. They are acting out a scene from a book

My girls have a ridiculous and sometimes embarrassing sense of fashion
Lilli is always layering miss matched patterns and colors, and Miete likes
to look like pippi longstockings or punky brewster

A winter swim in the living room. These are always Miete's idea

I can't even remember what this game was

Leif continues to love trains, clips, smoozing and
his pink blankie.

Clip trapped in a box

Violet likes drawing on herself. Usually it's a tiger or a mustache

drawing on furniture, and not wearing clothes are also favorite activities

I have so many more fantastic, and adorable personality pictures, but this is getting way too long, so I will save some for an other day. I love my creative, imaginative little children.

I don't feel like blogging very much lately. I think about things I would like to write about constantly, but don't feel like putting forth the effort. I know that very few people read my blog. Sometimes none, so I think why put forth the effort. Well, I'll put forth the effort for myself and for my posterity. Mostly I want to blog about running, and fitness, but that probably bores most people. I also have a lot of pent up, negative emotions inside me that are trying to claw their way through. It is with great effort that I suppress them. If one chooses to write about negative feelings they are generally viewed as complainers, cynics, whiners, or feeling sorry for themselves. It is not very appealing, and often thought of as trying to get attention. Well since becoming more aware of how few people view my blog, I've decided to let a bit of those negative feelings leak out.

 I am lonely, and I've always been lonely. Obviously more sometimes then others. I thought when I was younger that getting married and having children would change that. I adore Christopher and he treats me like gold. He listens, he comforts, and he tries hard to lift me up when I am down, but he doesn't always understand my insides.

 I have very few real friends. Thoughts on this are- am I too boring, not attractive, not smart, funny, clever, rich, too shy, say the wrong thing, too sarcastic, not cool, too immature, too simple. Don't judge me. These thoughts don't come from no where. They come from a life time of experiences. I will write of a few. I am a middle child in a large family. It takes effort to get noticed.

 I grew up very poor. Being poor does not get you a lot of friends. Your clothing is cheap, second hand and old. You can't afford to go on the outings with the other kids. No puffy ISPO jackets, no LA gear sneakers and certainly no cabbage patch dolls. At a young age I was told by my neighbor that her mother said I dressed like my clothes came out of a rag bag. People that are not poor tend to think people that are poor are that way because they are lazy, unless they live in a third world country. This idea is infuriating to me. As a child, and as an adult poverty will always be an embarrassment, simply because of the judgements that go with it.

 Other then the few people I hung out with in high school, no body else remembers me. Not even teachers. I had a favorite English Lit teacher, a year later she couldn't remember my name, and no she did not have Alzheimer's. Last year at a homeschool outing I ran into a girl that I had gone to 5 years of high school with. I had been in many classes with her, and even sat near her. She was very popular and not very kind. When I mentioned to her at this outing that we had attended high school together she had no idea who I was.

 My current friends and my childhood friends continue to keep me as a last resort. That means, we will visit you if we have nothing better to do, we will hang out with you in the summer only if we can fit it around all the other things we'd rather do, and people we'd rather see. Oh, you're moving, too bad we won't be around to spend time with you before you go. That is our vacation time. Oh, you're coming out in a month. I'm not sure I'll be able to spend time with you for whatever reason. Now this may sound dramatic and pathetic on my part but this is a life-time reoccurring event. I remember these things happening when I was a child, a teenager, and early adulthood. So of course my thoughts return to the above: is it because…

 I'll admit that since moving out here and getting an iphone I spend more time on FB then I should. I feel it connects me to home and the rest of the world, however it doesn't connect the rest of the world to me. I get few responses, or comments on pictures. I know this is because my life is dull. There are no vacations, or weekends away. It's me at home or at the park with my children. It goes along with my blog as well. Even those I think to be my closest friends don't read it. I could go out painted purple and I wouldn't get noticed.

 I promise I am kind. I make food for people when they are sick, I send little things in the mail to my friends, I watch other people's children, clean other people's houses, and I compliment everybody all the time, on their hair, their outfit, their yard, their cleverness, their words. I have fantastic manners as well, and I am not a slob. I am very hygienic, and I never smell bad, not even when I'm really sweaty. I smile on the outside all the time. I don't walk around complaining, like I am now. I pick up an out of my way, knocked over garbage can on a run, I clean up litter, I shovel other people's driveways, talk to elderly people everywhere I go, help an overwhelmed parent with a tantruming child in the grocery store. I do my best to put myself in other people's shoes and treat them the way that I would like to be treated.

And yet, I must be missing something.