Some days, usually sunny Saturdays, I get a particular ache deep down. I miss people, times gone past, and favorite places. I thought time would help fade those feelings, but it hasn't. Sometimes it is so bad that I feel nauseas. Silly, I know. I do enjoy many things about Calgary. This part of the province is very beautiful. I've also met some great people here, but it still does not feel like home to me. It's been six months, shouldn't I be more adjusted. It's such a feeling of displacement, and I worry that if we move back to B.C eventually,  it won't feel like home there either. How do people move all over the place. I do like change, and get bored easily, but leaving people behind is always so heartbreaking, and I hate to keep putting my children through it. I get easily attached to people and have such a hard time letting them go. This seems to be something that many people do though. Maybe it is why I had very few serious relationships before Christopher.

 One of my very dearest friends lives in Texas. I haven't seen my darling Beth for over 7 years I think. We talk on the phone every few months and send FB messages back and forth. Truthfully though, it has been terrible not being able to be there for her during the difficult times. She is a strong, brave woman who has been through a lot. Maybe one day we will be able to afford trips back and forth to see each other.

 When I think of my relationship with Beth, I think of my Nana and her cousin. My Nana had a cousin who lived in the old country, as she used to say. They wrote letters their entire lives and became very dear friends. When Nana was in her sixties she finally went to Scotland and met this cousin, and it was as if they had always been together. I love relationships like that and I think they are rare. That is how it is with Beth and myself, I think. Like Anne and Diane from Green Gables:)

 Anyway, I just had to get my little bit of heartache out. There are others that I miss terribly, and most of them know who they are. I look forward to the reunions, even if they do cause me some tears. I am an overly sensitive and incredibly emotional person. Sometimes I wish I wasn't, but that is how it is.